An open letter to school Mums…

 

Dear School Mum,

As you enter another new school year OR a whole new world, as your child starts school for the first time, I want you to know a few things, they don’t tell you in the school handbook.

Whilst the dress code for your little one is important, you will come across your own dress code challenges. The procedure for when your child is late is essential to know, however they won’t tell you not to beat yourself up over being late AGAIN because Mr 5 couldn’t find the socks you laid out last night for him and the toddler had to do a poo right as you were walking out the door. Oh and then you got into the car to discover the petrol light on….

So in light of all of this, I will share some of the important stuff for us mums. The stuff that will help you enjoy what you can and endure what you must for the next 12 or so years!

#1 HELPING.

You don’t need to help with everything or anything. If you have the time and you WANT to, then volunteer to help. Forget what OTHER mums are doing and do what feels right for you. Each ‘job’ has its benefits and you will learn a lot. I have to be honest here & say what you will learn most, will be about  yourself and other mums.

PLEASE don’t be the mum who helps with reading only so she can gauge where HER little one is at, against the rest of the class. I have worked with her and it is sad. Sad for you, our kids and mostly her, because she is already setting a standard for herself as a mother and her child that completely ignores the fact that every child learns differently. Furthermore, it is just plain nasty when you comment on other parents commitment to home readers. WORRY about what you do and leave the parenting of THEIR child to them.

Oh and if you choose canteen, prepare to have THE MOST FUN EVER, helping the Kindy’s. Prepare to buy for your child’s circle of friends which, on canteen day, is likely to expand to the WHOLE class. So take plenty of money because working in canteen COSTS you, however the return on your investment is PRICELESS!

#2 DRESS CODE.

It’s ok to wear whatever YOU want to drop off and pick up. Please don’t label the mums as the ‘Lorna Jane Set’ or the ‘K-Mart Crew’ as I have heard and seen. We are ALL mothers wanting the best for our children and it is JUST clothes. Be more concerned with the thoughts you select each day than your outfit. Sometimes you’ll dress up and other days you’ll forget your bra & undies. As long as they are not on your head, it really doesn’t matter {and I really don’t care if you wear your underwear on your outerwear however trust me, your child WILL}.

#3 THE INEVITABLE…

There are a few things that are inevitable. You WILL be late some days. You WILL forget to take bread out the freezer. You WILL send your child to mufti day in school uniform or vice versa. You will forget that GOLD coin and you WILL worry if they will make friends. Don’t worry about ANY of this because they WILL make friends, you WILL have it together ‘most’ of the time and YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Every mother is going to experience similar, just on a different day and whilst you may feel like you qualify for ‘worst mother of the year’ on those occasions, your child won’t remember them {unless of course you try to convince your son to go to ‘P’ day as a pumpkin rather than a pirate because you know there will be lots of pirates and a pumpkin is WAY different. Then your child WILL remember & he won’t let you forget it either. PS If you need a pumpkin costume, complete with a ‘patch top’ hat, I AM YOUR WOMAN!}

#4 Lunches.

Please don’t stress over them. There is no doubt your Kindy will be happy with whatever you give them and IT IS OK to give them then same thing every day. They like that. Enjoy this period while it lasts because the time comes soon enough when you will be told in the middle of Coles that your lunch making skills leave a lot to be desired and you are a slack mum for not putting maltesers in your child’s lunchbox. You will silently curse the mum who does that & wonder if she has read the handbook about ‘healthy lunch boxes’ and after one too may incidents in Coles, you will give in just once AND that will be the day the teacher does a spot check, your child will have the maltesers confiscated and once again you will feel like ‘worst mother of the year’. Resist the urge to call the teacher and say “but Sally’s mum did it” and just eat the maltesers yourself. This will make you feel MUCH better, trust me. PS My number one lunchbox tip, DO NOT get one of the lunch boxes you have to wipe out and not WASH. They suck. Even if you THINK you are being clever by putting all the food into separate containers INTO the nice lined lunchbox, your child will prefer to put the leftover sandwhich and half eaten yoghurt back into that lucnhbox and you my friend will spend night after night wiping out that thing, wishing it could go in the dishwasher

#5 THE MOST IMPORTANT!

Those mums, in that group. They’re just like you. They have the same fears at one time or another. There will always be various ‘groups’ and mums/dads on their own. Don’t stare at the mum rushing in AFTER the bell at assembly or the one with the toddler screaming. Throw her a life jacket, a smile. Walk over to her OR you walk over to THEM. Say hi, these are your daily peeps for a LONG time. You can hang out with them or not. There will be a mum who prides herself on knowing it ALL about everything and there will be a mum suffering depression thinking she is not good enough and everyone is talking about HER. You might be one of those mums or you might be blissfully unaware of the playground politics that has nothing to do with our children. At the core of all of this is, my message is rather simple and ONLY you are responsible for being the change you want to see in the playground. Your car compared to hers, her clothes compared to yours, her smile or lack thereof….ALL OF IT comes down to YOUR perception. Your perspective of that mum and your place in the playground. NONE of us got a ‘how to manual’ and we are ALL winging it!

You might love Lorna Jane , loathe her OR wonder who the hell this LJ woman is? {personally, I couldn’t have cared less until I discovered those flash pants of hers and this LJ woman is now a friend of my wardrobe}. We might be single or married. We might drive a BMW or a CRV. We might be totally uninterested in making friends or silently crying out for SOMEONE to talk to us. Whilst there is no doubt we are all vastly different, where we are ONE and the same, is that we all want the best for our kids!

So walk in, walk over and say HI.

She is not doing a better job than you, she is doing a different one. She is not judging you, or maybe she is, that’s her issue to work through.

It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that YOU know you are doing the best you can and thats all any of us can do.

I am not perfect, she is not perfect and YOU are not perfect and THAT, is PERFECT!

“We may have all come in different ships, but we’re in the same boat now.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

BE the change you want to see in motherhood!

Have a great school year Mama, only 10 weeks til holidays

 

 

PS Contacting books SUCKS unless you are a GUN at it and if that is the case, can you do my kids books too please?

Related posts:

1. The REAL Open letter to Jackie O!
2. Get organised for the school year!
3. Letter to self…
4. All dolled up and…off to school we go?